How do you reach mutual understanding amongst those with drastically divergent beliefs? Two Santa Fe College Ethics Bowl team members discuss how to approach challenging conversations with loved ones, friends and co-workers by finding common ground in opposing viewpoints. Join Liam Frank, SF alumni currently at the University of Florida, and Areli Villavicencio, SF student, as they reflect on experiences where they have found success in developing a mutual understanding.
Sound clip: Areli Villavicencio from 15:57 to 16:14
The Center for Applied Ethics & Humanities at Santa Fe College (SF) promotes the values of honesty, integrity, and civility, as well as individual, social, and global responsibility. It fosters appreciation for ethical reasoning and encourages and supports active engagement with ethics and humanities in our communities – in thought and action, (((In Word And Deed))). This podcast, a product of the center, features SF faculty, students and alumni engaging in dialogue around critical ethical issues. The first season, "Dinner Table Dynamics," features current and former members of SF’s nationally ranked Ethics Bowl team and fellows in the Intercollegiate Civil Disagreement Partnership. They encourage listeners to practice civil discourse as they head home for the holidays, and into extended family discussions. Learn more at sfcollege.edu/ethics. Share your thoughts (and actions) with @santafecollege using #InWordAndDeed.
How do you reach mutual understanding amongst those with drastically divergent beliefs? Two Santa Fe College Ethics Bowl team members discuss how to approach challenging conversations with loved ones, friends and co-workers by finding common ground in opposing viewpoints. Join Liam Frank, SF alumni currently at the University of Florida, and Areli Villavicencio, SF student, as they reflect on experiences where they have found success in developing a mutual understanding.
Sound clip: Areli Villavicencio from 15:57 to 16:14
The Center for Applied Ethics & Humanities at Santa Fe College (SF) promotes the values of honesty, integrity, and civility, as well as individual, social, and global responsibility. It fosters appreciation for ethical reasoning and encourages and supports active engagement with ethics and humanities in our communities – in thought and action, (((In Word And Deed))). This podcast, a product of the center, features SF faculty, students and alumni engaging in dialogue around critical ethical issues. The first season, "Dinner Table Dynamics," features current and former members of SF’s nationally ranked Ethics Bowl team and fellows in the Intercollegiate Civil Disagreement Partnership. They encourage listeners to practice civil discourse as they head home for the holidays, and into extended family discussions. Learn more at sfcollege.edu/ethics. Share your thoughts (and actions) with @santafecollege using #InWordAndDeed.
Ann Thebaut 0:06
Hello and welcome to In Word and Deed, a podcast produced by the Center for Applied Ethics and Humanities at Santa Fe College. I'm Ann Thebaut, Professor of Philosophy here at SF and in a moment, you'll hear from some of my students who have participated in Ethics Bowl over the years and a few who are Fellows in the Intercollegiate Civil Disagreement Partnership, which is committed to reducing polarization by teaching students to connect across political differences. This desire to connect is increasingly on our minds. As we think about being around family over the holidays, and the prospect of sitting down to have discussions with people, we don't always agree with. Today, Liam and Areli are talking about the importance of finding common ground in our Episode, Breaking Bread.
Liam Frank 0:54
Right, Hey everyone, I'm Liam Frank. I started at Santa Fe a few, few years ago. And, and Ethics Bowl is really just an opportunity that started out somewhat spontaneously for me and that I heard about and thought, I'd thought, I'd give a try. And after attending meetings and practices for, for a few weeks or a couple of months, I started to really get a feel for that space as, as a forum where I could really share what was on my mind and listen to other people and have, have a real space for, for discussion and finding, finding the best aspects of all these issues we were discussing. And I ended up competing with the team for the 2019/2020 season, ending at nationals that year. And since then, I've transferred to UF where I'm currently in my senior year studying Food and Resource Economics.
Areli Villavicencio 2:02
Thank you, Liam. That's wonderful, wonderful history to have. My name is Areli Villavicencio. I'm also a Santa Fe student. I came to Gainesville specifically for Santa Fe. Right out of high school. I was just looking for a place to continue my education. And I found a nice place surrounded by a bunch of beautiful treats and I thought yep, this isn't. So, I started my time at Santa Fe not particularly involved with the specifics of the school more. So, sticking to the library. I was an employee there and I was also the student representative at the advisory committee, keeping it student interests in mind and making sure that our, our faculty representatives were taking the little guys into account. And eventually, I was, I was suggested to, to join the Ethics Bowl team and since of fall of 2019, I believe or the summer I've been involved with a team competing nationally twice. And it's been an absolute fantastic time. I've learned so much from the Ethics Bowl. I had an untapped, untapped love water for philosophy and ethics that really came to fruition within the, within the Ethics Bowl and our competitions and prep for competitions. And I'm so excited to see our, our Center for Ethics, finally, take hold on Santa Fe and, and become a great resource for all of our students. I know it's gonna be a very great institution and already is.
Liam Frank 4:06
So, today's topic really is breaking bread we're here to discuss how, how different divergent parties can find common ground and engage in civil, civil, civil discourse with each other. And that's one of the questions that we wanted to kind of start out with is how, how do we come to that common ground between, between different port polarized parties? And, Areli, what are some of your overarching thoughts on that?
Areli Villavicencio 4:39
So yeah, absolutely. When we're talking about finding common ground, we first want to find the common ground for the conversation itself, before we can even move into the topic. We want to make sure that we agree to some of the same rules. For example, in our first episode, we did outline some rules of engagement that might be helpful in moving conversation along and making sure that everybody's heard at the end of the day, everybody wants to feel respected. Nobody wants to be on the butt-end of interactions or anything that makes them feel like they're not being listened to, they want to feel understood and validated.
Liam Frank 5:18
Right. And these obviously these, these rules, these desires for what we want to feel in these conversations, you know, apply to all settings of our lives really, and, and we wanted to start, start out a bit by discussing some, some of these personal applications. And really, I think you're you were telling me about this. about something that occurred in your workplace that related to the south.
Areli Villavicencio 5:43
So recently, I've been on the I've been experiencing some workplace conflict and we found that a lot of the reason why we were, myself in this other employee were not really seeing eye to eye is that we really felt like we had nothing in common. We didn't have too much personal overlap. So that led to us not being on the same page and the way that we performed our daily duties. So, this took a little mediation, someone else had to step in and get us to think about what we have in common in the workplace since we're not, you know, personally, seeing eye to eye what can we find that we both want out of our workplace? And ultimately, we both want a happy, peaceful work, workplace where we can have smooth workdays, and we can make sure that the tension between our different personalities doesn't define are our mutual desire for a smooth and, and well-planned day. And within that, that conversation, we were both committed to making sure that we were respectful of one another and not interrupting each other. And that really helped solidify our intentions. And so, since that conversation, I can honestly say I have not had a tense day at work. They've all, they've all gone by beautifully and if very efficiently. And Liam, I think you also have a story to share of some similar point of tension.
Liam Frank 7:13
I did, I wanted to bring it a little more towards kind of some of this application in, in the home or living environments. So, I spent a couple of years living abroad in France and, and this time and during this time, I always had a roommate that I, that I spent a lot of time with, working within a very structured manner. And one practice that, that I adopted throughout this time was having regular discussions more or less every week, kind of about strengths and weakness, weaknesses and in our relationship. We'd give each other compliments things we thought were going well we talked about points, points for possible, possible improvement and this structure really helps me to, to be prepared to bring up different more difficult points or points of conflict when, when they arose. There's, there's one, there was one time when I moved into a new apartment and, and, and the guy who preceded me didn't really do a great job of cleaning up cleaning things up and getting ready for a new resident. And that was something I had to kind of bring up talk about certain boundaries and expectations with, with my new my new housemate and that that weekly routine of having that kind of conversation really is what prepared me to bring those things, bring those things up. And, and of course, these, these interactions, structured and less structured give us opportunities to set, to set goals, talk to each other rather than let these conflicts kind of bubbled underneath the surface and, and, and let it get, get until there was some kind of outburst.
Areli Villavicencio 9:11
Yeah, so it looks like you know, this absolutely works. It's an effective method to keep people in conversation and dialogue and keeping one another accountable. So, I really like this goal-setting idea of these conversations, and it reminds me a lot of when we would prep for competition and Ethics Bowl a lot of our goals weren't really centered around being right or being wrong. They were really pushing one another to build a strong argument with a strong ethical case and strong counterarguments. At the end of the day, we walked into, into that ethics board meeting room wherever it may have been usually our, our college library expecting right are, are different arguments to be challenged and, and we brought to under scrutiny. And we have this common love of ethics and this desire about all of us to think critically about our opinions and really, really kept us all sharp and on top of our opinions. I think
Liam Frank 10:19
Right, know and these differing opinions, though, that we come into these discussions with on you know, this, this wide range of issues really ultimately are what helps make our cases stronger in the end. Because each participant in that discussion each member of the team brings a, brings a difference of perspective, of knowledge and your end area for research tied to that common goal that you're talking about. It's about building a strong case and being able to excel in those, those competitions.
Areli Villavicencio 11:01
Yeah, so not all of the situations that we might find ourselves in are going to be a competition or, or brought under the degree of scrutiny that an Ethics Bowl case might require. We oftentimes have daily interactions that don't, don't have the, the research tab available, right. Specifically, I'm thinking about family gatherings. We're coming up on Thanksgiving and we don't really plan on showing up to our Thanksgiving family tables with this expectation of having our points of view challenged. So recently, I had a conversation with my family, and it was a bit difficult. Our summer gatherings are kind of our version of Thanksgiving. That's when everybody can come together and meet around the same table. They're very special to everybody in the family. I haven't eaten meat for a number, a couple of years now. And this wasn't really something that I explicitly expressed to my family. I, I am a Mexican woman, and we have a lot of meat in our cuisine. And I knew that I was going to get pushback, no matter how gently I introduced it or what ethic I laid out or what health information I laid out. I was going to get pushback and, and I did. It was a lot of back and forth between why I made that decision, to them explaining to me that it wasn't necessarily healthy on their eyes, a lot of questions about whether I was getting enough nutrients, and so on. And of course, this was expected, right? But we all understood that we were there to spend time together. We were there. To be closer with our families not necessarily to exploit points of tension and, an bring, bring that to the center of our conversations. And funnily enough, I had an aunt who had recently taken up vegetarian cuisine as a, as a job and she'd really enjoyed it and one day out of the blue she made us some meatless meatballs, meatless meatballs soup, out of ground seeds, flax seeds, pumpkin seeds, you name the seed it was in there and it was absolutely delicious. Everybody in the house ate it. Nobody knew the difference, and everyone enjoyed it. And that was something that we were all able to find common ground over and agree was very nutritious and very delicious. And it was just a great way to get, get together with everybody. And really bring peace to our home. And it was a peaceful rest from, from work and from school and just tensions and a very warm and, and hardy setting. But I'm very lucky that I have such a loving family and not everybody has that, has that in their back pockets. So, we also have to consider how we handle situations with our families, especially when we walk in, and the situations are already charged.
Liam Frank 14:20
Right. So yeah, thinking about how we can move past some of these difficult conversations finding some of that common ground but that really was talking about so when it comes to some of these, these intimate family settings, we think of the holidays, we think of thanksgiving and one thing that can help with that and I think is, is turning to really, really turning to what we consider those, those settings like things getting to be about which is gratitude. You can look at, look at the other person who's who is expressing that that divergent point of view that one that's, that's got things a little, little up in arms a little guy things a little heated. And one thing that, one thing that might help there is to, is to think of that person and how, how that how they or how your relationship with them has, has contributed good to, good to your life. And that might not always be easy. And in those in those situations. You might not be ready to turn to gratitude in the midst of that kind of disagreement. And that's why it really helps for that to be a practice thing, something that becomes natural for you to turn to and early. I think you had some thoughts on how, how one might do that.
Areli Villavicencio 15:47
So, we can turn to famous, famed philosopher Aristotle for this a little. One of his big suggestions was to make virtue a habit. You practice virtue. It's not something that you're necessarily born with. It's something you achieve, you achieve good character and good, virtuous actions through practice. It's this habituation that's going to make you the most noble person you can be. It takes time it takes practice. I'd also like to add in a, as a couple of studies conducted by Berkeley and a couple of other institutions, and eventually, essentially, they came up with something called a gratitude journal. And every day or every few days, which whatever you feel most comfortable with. You take a journal, and you write for five to fifteen minutes about your day. about things that you are grateful for that day. And when you make this a habit, you start to look for the good in your day. And I'd actually like to invite Leon to share a little bit about his experience with something similar.
Liam Frank 17:00
Yes, thank you. So, one way that I've kind of applied something similar to my life is, in the past year or so, I've tried to strengthen a habit of daily journaling. And so, I found, found a journaling app that I like very customizable. One of the things that I have it set to ask me every night when I'm writing is what's something that made you smile today. So that so it's it becomes over time. That becomes something that's easier for me to reflect on. Whether it's you know, possibly it could be a positive interaction with a coworker, maybe they, maybe they did some task for me that I was, that I was supposed to do. Or maybe it's it was just a, you know, an uplifting conversation with friends. But over time, that's been something that I've, that I've practiced, it becomes easier to find those good things. I think about it more often during the day. And I when some of those moments, moments come up, it my thought, my thoughts turned to it more, more quickly. I think that's, that's something I want to write about my journal tonight. And that's, that's even something I'll even say it. I'll even talk about that with, with, with friends sometimes and it tends to make them smile when I, when I say something, when I say I want to, I want to remember that.
Areli Villavicencio 18:29
That's so sweet, yeah go ahead.
Liam Frank 18:31
Yes, and so moving on. So even if we're practicing this kind of habits, developing the skill of turning to gratitude more easily. There are so you know, a lot of us who were you know, more, more soft spoken, who, who find it a little more, a little more difficult to kind of command this, this respect and conversation that they, they're looking for. And not everyone at the table may be willing to share that, that respect that you're looking for. In that case, we're looking to you know, it's, it's great to show, show that grace where you can and, and disengage from the conversation if you have to. And more often than not, you may be able to know that other people at the table may share, may share a level of discomfort or at the, at the headedness of the conversation, you may be able to find some, some solidarity, solidarity with other people at the table.
Areli Villavicencio 19:37
Yeah, of course. Self-respect is always going to be very important. When we have to remember that if our boundaries are, are not being respected, then we absolutely can't accept that conversation and always try to find the nearest baby at the at the family garden gathering to play peekaboo with and distract ourselves with them. If that common ground is not readily available, and you're discussing things with parties that are not receptive to your desire to find common ground, again, it might be best to just remove yourself and, and self-preserve and practice the virtue of grace.
Liam Frank 20:15
Well, Areli, I know one conversation that's going on my journal tonight.
Areli Villavicencio 20:22
Oh, I'm starting my journal too Liam. You want to be nice to people and you want to look for the, for the good in everything and it does lead to a happy life.
Liam Frank 20:34
Agreed.